ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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