Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
