She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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