This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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