We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
