I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
