Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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