Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
