So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
