Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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