benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
