Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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