ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
