I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
