Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
