The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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