I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
