He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
