Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
