I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
