I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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