Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
