I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
