I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
