Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
