you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
