How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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