I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
