white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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