Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize