I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
