Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
