Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
