Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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