no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
