$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
