I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
