North Korea, Best Korea!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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