somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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