I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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