Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
