You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
