that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
