Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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