Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
