I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize