I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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