Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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