Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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