Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So squirting runs in the family.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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