4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
