I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
