I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I need help removing her.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
