You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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