Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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