News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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