i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
