Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize