Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
