There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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