Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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