Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
