pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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