Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
