i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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