yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
