Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize